The past 4 months and how i adapted

The past 4 months and how i adapted

I debated quite some time on whether i should, how and when to write this post. It still feels a little challenging putting my thoughts into an order as i’m still working on figuring things through. So bare with me. Thoughts might be scattered but they’re all honest and from the heart. Truth is, the past four months have been quite a challenge, as i found myself a little lost and shaken in many ways. And trust me, i’ve gone through two major surgeries in my life, so i know a little about what can shake your life.

The day we found out i was pregnant, we cried and laughed and hugged for what felt a lifetime in the bathroom. This was our 6th pregnancy test in the past year, as the baby was determined to make as wait. Definitely worth the wait little one! I had already pictured myself as a mother and how perfect our life would be living in this house, doing what we do on a tropical island. Sounds and is idyllic! What i had never even thought of though, was how different i would feel about many things and how the whole pregnancy would affect me.

 

At first, everything felt super easy. Pregnancy symptoms? Not for me, i’m one of the lucky ones – i would say. Not a little in the first month however, it all hit me. Feeling sick all the time, not in the mood for anything at all and very quickly i found myself staying indoors for weeks. There’s not much you can do around here especially when fall arrives. So my super exciting / adventurous life (which was even more than usually this summer) was dramatically interrupted to what felt a little like prison. Well, it might not all be that dramatic. I’m pretty sure it was a lot easier than others’ pregnancies who don’t have the luxury to work from home. But a lot tougher than someone who has that maternity glow and gets up in morning with a reason to make herself pretty, interact with people and go outside.

For someone who draws her inspirations from adventures and finds her happy place in them, it was very difficult adapting in this phase of my life. My early morning routine was replaced by struggling to get out of the bed in one piece. There was zero time for personal projects and blog posts, no mood or time for inspiration and interacting with the rest of the world. At first, i started secluding myself from Instagram. There was nothing for me to share and i felt a lot of pressure to share a perfect picture that was not a memory of the awesome summer i had. Mind me, my life isn’t perfect. But when it comes to Instagram, i always want to share the most adventurous aspects of it to inspire and be inspired myself. Without being able to speak about my exciting news and struggles, slowly i withdrew and secluded myself from everything social.

So i threw myself to work. Undoubtedly i’ve worked on some of the best projects i have in my working years, with my most proudest works so far. Naturally, i cannot wait to start posting them and tell you all about the incredible people i’ve worked with. While work was fulfilling and exciting and all i had, i still missed my old self. I had done zero moves to adapt and somehow find that silver lining. I was honestly out of ideas, and felt powerless in contrast to someone who had figured a perfect balance in her life just a few months ago.

I only started seeing things clearer not a long ago. It’s not about how perfect your life is and how quickly you’ll be able to adapt to. It’s about allowing yourself the space and time to experience the moment as it is. Not all of our moments are thrilling, sunny and glittery. When the time is right, you’ll find your way out and you’ll amaze yourself by how creative you can get. Sharing these thoughts with you, besides lifting a major weight out of my shoulders, i’m hoping to help not only the new freelance mamas but those who are going through a change in their lives and struggle to find their old self as well.

inout-cocorrina

People & Books

It took me a while to get back in the game but i finally went back to what i loved most; Interacting with people, reading blogs, seeking inspiration on articles and spending some extra time on Pinterest. I’m a little more isolated than i used to be. I miss my old funny snapchats, making videos, over-sharing on blog and Instagram. That’s who i truly am and i’m eager to get back to it. Writing this post today, gave me so much clarity on how i visualise my future and the kind of person i want to be as well as the kind of presence i want to have in the blogosphere.

While seeking inspiration in all kinds of places, i started reading some interesting books. A little nudge and teaching yourself how to think differently is always needed in situations like this. You all know “Big Magic”, but you might not know “The Subtle Art of not Giving a F*ck” and “Essentialism – The Disciplined Pursuit of Less” that my dearest Linda suggested the other day.

 

Acceptance

This part was the toughest one, and the one i’m still battling with the most. Accepting the fact that i cannot -and probably won’t for a long time- do everything that i used to do. Like, having a full day with a crazy schedule, working on numerous kinds of things and all at a crazy pace. Tight deadlines and a full schedule always made me more productive and creative, so i’m trying to do a reverse psychology here.

Not trying to battle with the situation and accepting things as they are, has helped me a lot do more with my time by doing less things and staying productive at the same time.

 

Slowing Down

This is something i will be practising on and incorporating in my life from now on. Slowing down is essential to keep my mind sane and always be in my happy place enjoying this beautiful experience. Waking up late-er, working on less but more meaningful projects, accepting the things i can’t do (like cleaning up the house every second) and learning to let go. Theo, Bella and i have created a small routine. We all drop down everything we do at 5pm every day and go for a long walk.

There’s this quote that has been my mantra the past month: “don’t allow the perfect to be the enemy of the good”. I guess it’s not bad to have a little chaos in our battle to make a perfect world. A little mess can mean that you’re setting priorities and at the end of the day it means you did what meant more and you’re happy.

 

 

  • Oh Corina, I’m so sorry to hear about what you’ve been going through but also I feel very lucky that you’ve been so honest with us and allowed us to hear what’s really been going on – something that’s always a bit of a shock when what you see online looks so perfect! It’s so tough when you’re hit by something that completely knocks you out of your routine, and almost who you are as a person. I guess the one massive positive is that you’re going to have a wee baby at the end! And I think when we do found ourselves in a place that is different (and not necessarily in a good way) it forces us to find the good, to find what makes us feel better, what we can do to get back to where we were. And that little bit of discovery is almost worth it because you rediscover your passion and what makes you happy. You got this girl, just be kind to yourself and allow yourself to fully experience this journey you’re on xx

  • Merle F.

    I normally never react to your blog, because that’s not really my thing – but I just had to say I respect you now even more than I already did. Keep up the good thoughts, you’ll get there eventually – no need to hurry. Acceptance is – indeed – the first step! Greetings from Holland

  • I wouldn’t know, but I can see how this is and will continue to be quite a journey! You’ve already adapted and learned so much, and I’m sure there will be much more of that along the way! Wishing you the happiest of days! Also loving this sort of inverted/negative space typography; it represents breath very well <3 -Audrey | Brunch at Audrey’s

  • great post. Really love hearing a more personal side to your life. I’m sure it feels good to put it out there and have so many people supporting you!! Thinking of you <3

  • Oh my, it’s like speaking for myself as well! First months were a draft, and apart from the sickness, all I wanted to do is stare at the ceiling.I even hated browsing through pinterest (not to mention instagram or other blogs)! I remember the same happened in my first pregnancy as well an then slowly after the 4th month everything came back to normal with more energy and inspiration to create and live.
    It is only normal, just imagine all the energy our body needs to create a new life. I think of that when I feel tired or blah and instantly feel better ^^
    :* :*

  • breleigh.designs

    Thank you so much for sharing. I am going through change at the moment (renovating a house!) and my life feels so out of control! Thank you for the reminder to slow down and take things as they come. It’s nice to know we are not alone!

  • First of all, a HUGE congrats on your pregnancy!! So exciting! Second, what you’re going through is totally normal! I was SO sick the first 20 weeks of my pregnancy and was lucky if I made it from my bed to the couch during the days. It was my first year going freelance so I was scared and upset that I couldn’t work. I wish now that I wasn’t so hard on myself back then! It all gets better! We all have challenges that take us away from our normal routines. It’s about getting through them and coming out stronger! So happy for you!

  • Linda Dieschbourg

    Thank you for sharing, Corinaki. I’m so happy that we got to chat together and I know exactly how you feel. By taking it easy, being in the moment and applying essentialism it will all feel like a welcome new chapter <3 filakia!!

  • Tash

    I’m a freelance designer like you, and during my pregnancy (my bub is now 10 months old) I felt the exact same way. I had next to no symptoms, except for back pain, carpel tunnel and fluid retention at the end, but constantly felt drained and unmotivated. I hated being pregnant because I was the type of person who would do the heavy lifting, take on any project, get the job done, always busy – and while pregnant I couldn’t do anything. I won’t lie – it doesn’t get any better after the baby is born, in fact it gets worse, because simple things like popping into the shops now takes over an hour. All I wanted to do for so long was jump back into work, but you can’t because they take priority (as does your health). Until around 6 months it all gets easier – you find a routine, and going back to work is easier (even when my “office” is in my house). It’s a completely different life you’re about to enter, and as hard as it is to accept at the beginning, just know that it is completely worth it! It just takes time, like everything in life. All the best x

  • I’m a little late to this ‘party’, but I hope you’re feeling better right now. I saw you posted on IG earlier this week, and was so glad to have you back. I love these kind of posts, so don’t worry at all about posting these! Thanks for giving us some insight in your mind and daily life 🙂 xx